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- THREE STRIKES DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE OUT! FUNNY QUESTIONS RETURN FOR ROUND THREE! -

The rules of this contest are simple

  • Write a funny question as an answer to this post. Put the title of that question following a #.

  • You may pretty much use any method you want to make your question funny.

  • The winner will be decided based on who has the most up votes.

  • Downvotes are Not Counted When determing the winner, so save your daily votes. (you only get 40)

  • Although I highly doubt there are any five-year-olds on this site, we must use the same rule from the previous image contests, and keep the entries "Politically Correct" .

  • This is now the third time that this event has run. Although there is nothing stopping you from stealing ideas from previous entrees, You may NOT directly copy entries from the previous events and post them here. Mostly/Entirely original content is recommended.

  • The main point is to create a question that other users will find funny.

  • The winner will be chosen and his/her/its entry will be accepted. The link to that entry will be placed in the space below, along with the entries that almost won.

  • The winner will be chosen on October 27th. Other entries are welcome after that, but the winners entree will stay accepted (even if new entries gain more upvotes).

  • YOUR QUESTION SHOULD NOT BE POSTED ON THE MAIN SITE OR IN ANY PLACE OTHER THAN THIS POST UNLESS YOUR QUESTION IS A REAL, SERIOUS QUESTION.

- You may enter no more than twice.

However, only one entree can obtain first place. (Obviously)

WINNER AS OF 10-27-2015

There was a two way tie for first place.

First place entries from David♦ and cegaton.

As absurd as it is, there was also a two way tie for second, and another two way tie for third!

Previous runs of the event:

Funny Questions 1

Funny Questions 2

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    $\begingroup$ Do questions about the VSE count as funny? $\endgroup$
    – user1853
    Commented Oct 7, 2015 at 2:57

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I just Dowloaded blender, but not working HELP plz!

PS I'm using the latest version of Monkey Linux.

PPS how do I format my question correctly?

PPPS how do I make those cool videos like @David and @gandalf3 have in their answers?

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    $\begingroup$ +1 for the <thanks> tag $\endgroup$
    – J Sargent
    Commented Oct 28, 2015 at 2:11
  • $\begingroup$ Only sightly inspired from the events of a certain blend hosting service. $\endgroup$
    – David Mod
    Commented Oct 28, 2015 at 2:11
  • $\begingroup$ PS anybody notice the latest release date for Monkey Linux? $\endgroup$
    – David Mod
    Commented Oct 28, 2015 at 2:15
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    $\begingroup$ +1 for "Dowloaded" @GiantCowFIlms $\endgroup$
    – X-27 is done with the network
    Commented Mar 14, 2016 at 2:58
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i have problem...

i download blender from there website and isnatlled then i maked a new file and tried to add monkey and it worked until here but then i click modifier and error occured a friend tried to click also modifier but no problem please help me and fix blender to not give me error when i click modifier i dont want to lose my work and not sure if i can save with error exists i will leave blender open until working version of blender give me workaround or fix modifier click error that wood be helpful thanks!!!!1111eleven

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    $\begingroup$ instal the plugin and click on the button on the right of the screen... no, not that one!... the other! Yes, that one. the settings won't effect the result but it will render just fine if you render on wednesdays or fridays. $\endgroup$
    – user1853
    Commented Oct 11, 2015 at 1:35
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Why do my quads have only four vertices?

This is very Irritating guys, not funny like the rest of the questions on your blue section, I don't want to work with n-gons! I've searched all over the internet but found nothing. I'm not a noob! I've been using Aztek-3d and StudioMinus for many years and never had any issues with multi-vertex quads and tris or making monogons with multiple edges. Even when I import my old models from Sketchy plus they don't work in blender no more. Why does blender insist on limiting triangles to three vertices and quads to only four? I thought this was free software, so I'd be free to have the geometry I want with no restrictions. In Cinema5D I've always created planes, spheres and rhinos with just one or two vertices and perfect UVs every time with no fuss. Am I missing something?

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    $\begingroup$ I do not seem to have the problem you are describing. One quad with 32 vertices. Maybe you should report this bug to autodesk. $\endgroup$
    – David Mod
    Commented Oct 12, 2015 at 23:31
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    $\begingroup$ NO! that's not it: I need my squares to be rounded but remain straight! Can't blender deal with that like all of the other programs? This is so frustrating!!!!!!!!! $\endgroup$
    – user1853
    Commented Oct 12, 2015 at 23:38
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    $\begingroup$ Easily! I round the square, then rotate it to show that it is still straight. PS blender can do everything. $\endgroup$
    – David Mod
    Commented Oct 12, 2015 at 23:41
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How to make blender darken, cause its all whited out and I can't do anything with it after I moved the bones on my character

OK, so I'm making a minecraft animation, and I have a rig with every block! And so I create a world with it (It took me about a month) but I finally had copied enough blocks to create a world. Its not infinite, unfortunately, but It goes as far as you can see in every direction. Trees, mountains, caves, ect. But now I imported a player, and when I tried to move his hand, the the whole tab whited out, and now I can't do anything! I'm sure there's some setting somewhere that makes it do that when you try and move the bones on a character, but I don't know what one it might be. Is it in the settings? What buttons should I push?

UPDATE Never mind guys I came back from lunch and it wasn't whited out anymore! Thanks for helping!

Another Update Ignore that first update! I tried to move the character again and it did the same thing! Help!

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    $\begingroup$ The sad thing is this is quite close to some real questions we get. $\endgroup$
    – David Mod
    Commented Oct 14, 2015 at 1:02
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Blender is sooooooo very slooooow!

so i've been trying for hours to render my sci-fi feature length animation in 4k using cycles (it's like prequel to interstellar, but with more explosions and way cooler effects). i'm rendering to AVI format, but my computer is like running way too slow. It's annoying! all of my games and skype are getting bugged down while blender renders! i can't even watch netflix like this! i don't understand why my computer is running so slow because it has always been very powerful,it has a 4TB hard drive and the latest update to the operating system. Is there a plugin to make it go faster?

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    $\begingroup$ if you plug in your computer, chances are it will work much better. $\endgroup$
    – X-27 is done with the network
    Commented Oct 8, 2015 at 12:29
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    $\begingroup$ Bummer! I thought Macs were exempt from such mundane and insignificant requirements!!! $\endgroup$
    – user1853
    Commented Oct 8, 2015 at 22:17
  • $\begingroup$ Only if you get a mac with a built in cold fusion generator..... $\endgroup$
    – X-27 is done with the network
    Commented Oct 11, 2015 at 0:07
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    $\begingroup$ No, macs have much bigger problems too though, like when you push the power button they turn on. $\endgroup$
    – PGmath
    Commented Oct 11, 2015 at 13:58
  • $\begingroup$ I keep it off so that I don't have to hear the chime sound every time it turns on... or could that chime be the problem I'm having with the VSE then? $\endgroup$
    – user1853
    Commented Oct 11, 2015 at 17:10
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    $\begingroup$ No joke, you took my idea. This is nearly exactly what I was going to do. "Renders too slow, then go on to explain how slow all my games and stuff are running." Crazy how alike we think. $\endgroup$
    – David Mod
    Commented Oct 12, 2015 at 23:35
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bug in my python!

Please help! A bug in my python causes a lot of trouble, I use Blender to fix this problem. I can't make it run. This reptile doesn't feel ok at all, it swallowed a spider. Does someone know how I can use blender to fix this. Maybe if I run my blender, the noise makes the bug come out my python, and so my reptile feels ok.

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Seriously people, Why won't you answer my question!!?!?!?!?

This is a simple question people, it shouldn't be too hard for any of you to figure out. blackhole could solve this it is so simple. your probably thinking, "if it is so simple, why cant you figure it out?" Because Im an Uber noob!!! My question is so simple I'm not going to bother telling you what it is!!!!! I want an answer and I want it now! and I'm not saying please!! But just because I'm so nice, I'll give you another question. I just watched two videos of someone rendering a cube in cycles, and somsone rendering a cube in Blender internal. Most useless video EVER!!! Yes or No? On a scale of 1-10 do you prefer cycles or blender internal? If I don't get any answers on this, I'm going to just use both Bi and cycles! I'm making a full length movie in the game engine and I need to know whether or not I should use cycles or blender internal! I would think that everything you do inside of blender is blender internal! isn't that the dumbest name ever heard of for a render engine??? and cycles- what is it cycling through? Headaches caused by trying to decipher the reason for the name? Bonus question! Just for you because you guys are so good at answering questions already! I wanted to make a breathtaking nuclear explosion on a hillside with the camera swooping up over a mountain with a view of the sunset behind. how can I make this? I just download blender and any tips on how I can un-zip the folder would help immensely.

Ps. If you choose blender internal, how can I switch to it from cycles? Ps. 2.0 I need my full length sci-fy movie of aliens causing the nuclear apocalypse done in 5 days. My assignment is due by then so I need an answer FAST

thanks!

This question has an openbountyworth 2,700 reputation fromX-27ending in 7 days

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    $\begingroup$ This guy manages to steal 2.7k rep from the system but cannot unzip a folder? $\endgroup$
    – GiantCowFilms
    Commented Oct 5, 2015 at 14:29
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    $\begingroup$ There are layers who graduate with a doctorate from law school, but they don't know how to change a light bulb. $\endgroup$
    – X-27 is done with the network
    Commented Oct 5, 2015 at 15:13
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HELP! my monkeys eyes keep falling out! how can i keep the eyes int eh monkey head?

i have a BIG problem when i make animaton of cloth sim for monkey head the eyes always fal out and it looks gross so plz HELp cuz i dont know what is wrong wiht it they just fall out and i didnt tell thme too

enter image description here

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    $\begingroup$ get the "fix monkey and make everything better." addon. it is great for this type of situation. $\endgroup$
    – X-27 is done with the network
    Commented Mar 14, 2016 at 3:02

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