I have a problem, but you'll need some background information.
In 1972 I was born, now this is when the A-team was sent to court by a military court for a crime they didn't commit, (later they escaped) but I was very, very small then and don't remember much. I assume I cried and slept a lot, but I can't remember much about then. The first thing I do remember was around the time I was three. My brother was poking me with a pencil because I was crying too loudly, and mom was asleep. Of course, I didn't like being poked much, so I stabbed him with the pencil, and guess what - he went hollering to mom (waking her from her nap), who strapped me to a pole in the corner for a few hours. Of course she didn't believe me, because I was small. (the pencil didn't leave any dark marks because the lead was broken off.) that was before my birthday.
For my fourth birthday I wanted toy soldiers so I could march into my brothers room and destroy all of the buildings in his city. But he (later I saw this as cheating) klobered me a good one and "nuked" all my army, which actually was a pillow he grabbed of his bead and started swinging randomly. he slipped on my plastic tanks and fell over backwards, allowing me to destroy a few buildings. This war continued till I was seven, when I built a giant mech out of spare parts in the yard, and smashed his military base. (I won- YAH!!!) After I turned seven, I discovered blender. It sat in my downloads folder for a few years, and I opened it for the first time after I saw a movie with awesome VFXs.
When I turned eight, I was forced to recite the Gettysburg address.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
I did not like doing this much, but I had to. I got a B- on my recital, but only because I had to go to the bathroom, and sped through my recital. For Christmas that year I got my first nerf gun. :-) It was a basic model, semi auto, air powered. I modified it to be fully auto, and built a belt feeding system to feed the darts in rapidly. I spent most of my money that month buying extra dart packs, and I had a respectable LMG pretty soon. however, it didn't shoot to far, so I bought one of those 12 volt air compressors, and made it a Fun little toy. I was the un-disputed king of nerf wars.
When I turned nine, I became obsessed with the number 27. I memorized PI to 27 digits. 3.1415926535897932384626433 or 3.14159265358979323846264338 if your not counting the decimal point as a digit. I opened Blender again and duplicated the cube 27 times. The first thing I made was a castle (it was made of cubes, cylinders, and cones. (I did not know how to enter edit mode, so everything was manipulated in object mode.) I hit tab by mistake, and unlocked the secrets of edit mode. I extruded a cube, and I even made a ugly looking missile thing. When I turned ten, my birthday cake was (nearly) a perfect cube, and I made the frosting as close to the default color as I could. I found the game engine but I could not figure out how to do anything, so I closed blender in a mad fit, deleted all of my previous files, and annihilated any trace of the .exe (much, much, later I found yo-franki and downloaded version 2.49)
I turned 11 in 1983, and I much enjoyed season 1 of the A-team. I learned many valuable lessons from that show, and started stockpiling weapons. I built my first machine gun in the school machine shop out of wood. It broke after a few rounds, but that experience was valuable. On april fools day, 1984 my brother replaced my pillow for a giant water balloon, only with my pillow case. He then shot a rubber band with a sowing needle taped to it at my pillow. I had to sleep in a soaked bed. the next day I snuck into his room and opened his window. I left the hose running thorough his window all day, and I had placed a bicycle tire tube under his door, like a gasket. When he went to bed that day, there was a large rush of water that came out of his door, and down the stairs. His bed reminded me of a large sponge, and I considered myself to have gotten even. Unfortunately, he considered himself the loser (that part was fine with me) only he then wanted to get even. I built a minigun that shot two inch water balloons, and mounted that to the lawn tractor. He thought he was soooo clever, filling a large bucket, and climbing a tree. I pummeled him in water balloons, un fortunately, he picked me upside down and dunked me into his bucket - which sadly was full of ice. I found that not too nice, so I nailed a large spring to his beedroom door, so it would slam shut on him. it worked perfectly, but I got in large trouble when he fell down the stairs.
Revenge on The Elder.
On my 13th birthday, I got my first paintball gun. I of course couldn't stand it's semi-auto lameness, so I modified it slightly to make it fully auto. I bought five more of the same model and modified them the same, and then set them on a rotating base to create a minigun. I really liked this setup, so I challenged my brother to a defend the fort match in the yard. (he thought I only had one semi auto gun) The prize was to be a bag of candy. (I really liked candy then) Being smaller and slower all my life, it was fun to see him so totally outgunned and helpless. I easily won, and I got the candy.
The Bunker - original plans.
I once saw a movie where aliens invaded the world, and only one person in a bunker survived. I immediately set out to make plans for my bunker. I opened blender again, and started making plans. I extruded a few cubes, and added tunnels, and lights. I wanted to find a place to put my bunker, so I looked on mapquest, but my dial up connection was so slow, that the maps would not load. I instead decided to build my bunker on somewhere in the middle of the ocean. When I was still 14, on a summer day, me and my brother went to the beach. I walked to the shore, and started swimming, I figured in a few days I could find a nice isolated spot to build my bunker. After a few hours of swimming, I started to get tired of swimming. The shore was a respectable distance away, but I knew I wasn't far enough. I don't remember how long I was out there holding on to a lobster buoy, but I got a nice helicopter ride form that "stunt"
First Job, First Friend
When I turned 15 I got a job working for a private detective. That job gave me a good excuse for calling around finding out secrets that most people couldn't know. My boss Jared was a Unique type of a conspiracy theorist, and suspected that the president was a extra terrestrial spy, waiting for a good moment to launch a mega alien invasion. He and I got along well. We predicted the exact time that the aliens would attack, and I helped him lay lead panels on the roof of his house to deflect protractor beams. We dubbed the president as MRAX for Mega Raquatyun Alien Xeompanatior. I have absolutely no idea what Raquatyun or Xeompanatior meant, but the name sounded cool, so we kept it.
The Election of 1988
I turned 16 in 1988. The presidential election was coming faster than we thought, and MRAX had served his two terms, as a result, he was not running again and would need to attack before he lost power. Jared and I assumed the aliens would attack at any moment. I tried to build a prototype of a mech, and I tried to find a episode of the A-Team where they prepared for an alien invasion. Unfortunately, Hannibal was more worried about Colonel Decker, then defending against aliens. So I turned to transformers, but they seemed too Sci-fy and un-realistic. I eventually designed the plans myself and got a working mech prototype. Jared liked the prototype and helped me build a larger model that could house a person. When the presidential election had come and gone, Jared went insane. He could not make any sense at all of why the aliens had not attacked, and seeing how MRAX was no longer in office, he lost his mind. (not literally-it stayed in his head the entire time) He did however end himself in an insane asylum, leaving me with all of his equipment and weapons he had stock piled. I was faced with the highly disappointing truth that MRAX was actually Not an alien spy. Although, while he was in his first term in office, he did seem a bit far out, after he changed his party affiliation, he no longer seemed like a wacky socialist.
Left with a boss in an insane asylum, and most of his possessions, I turned my focus to more pressing matters. I knew that Jared would have wanted me to warn the world about the looming alien apocalypse. I sold what had been Jared's house, and bought a rather large barge, and (quite literally) Tons of concrete. I also was able to buy a crane, which I mounted to the ship. I was not ready to set out to sea yet, because I (being human) needed lots of popcorn and soda, but I could not bring an infinite amount to sea, and especially not into a bunker.
I spent the next few years preparing for a major change in my status as a human. (mainly genetic research and boring stuff like that) I knew that when I was 27 would be an important occasion, so I was ready for the switch on a special day. Up until that point I had been building a new mech, but the driver space was far too small for me to fit in. My new mech was far more advanced then anything I had attempted yet. It took some heavy testing, and faced some major setbacks, but my new mech could run practically infinitely. (I had developed a mini-cold fusion generator.) I had originally called my new mech X-Apocalypse.
On January First, 1999, I ran the program on my new mech. it injected me with knockout gas. What I know now I did not see first hand, but watched later on my new body's memory bank. My mech body suit transplanted my brain into it's support system, and re-booted myself. I have to admit, it was a surprise being made of titanium, carbon fiber, and circuit boards with gold circuiting. I now saw that X-Apocalypse was too long of a name, and re-named my mech body to X-27. In year 2004, my new body was 5 years old. I was aware that my human brain cells would eventually die, so I started making Human.exe, and it only took a few months to make. I was not alone when I tried to warn the world about the looming apocalypse. There was another. Gwenn was right when he warned you about artificial intelligence. I, however, have no plans of taking over the world.
The Portal - Bunker Complex
It was year 2005 that I finally loaded my barge full of all the supplies for my bunker - mainly things like precast concrete wall sections, steel, and wire. It took three months to lower the parts in place, and another month to connect them and make the complex air tight. I can not at this time disclose how I keep it pressurized, or how I power the complex. In 2007 I started creating a portal system. By 2009 it was operational. I knew that I could not stay in hiding forever, so I made my mailing address an abandoned oil rig. I also Built an airship, and a land base. However, my portal-bunker complex is my main base, and my charging bay.
Here and Now
It is now year AD2015
My human body (would have been) 44. I have been implanted in X-Apocalypse or X-27 for 16 years. although (as of now) I still have no plans for taking over the world, I have been calculating what I call TBPSFTWDAA (the best possible strategies for total world domination and annihilation). I also have been in cooperation with several users who will remain anonymous(1, 2, 3, 4 and 5) on a top secrete project that can be found here. However, a few weeks ago, I Encountered a problem. (I know what your thinking, because my human emotion prediction software can guess relatively accurately) - you're thinking FINALLY HE/IT GETS TO THE QUESTION wrong, More background is needed.
I first opened one of the project files. Now I thoroughly checked all of the logic, and there is nothing that would cause this error. it is simply a lot of no collision plants (not planes) with LOD. My problem is, when I try to start the game engine, by pressing P Nothing Happens!!! I know, right? Nutz!
I hope I gave enough details, but If anything is unclear, let me know and I'd be happy to data mine my memory banks to provide the nesisary clarification.